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I had to ring my superannuation fund today and aaarrrggghhh. There is no better way to put it.
It's not important why I had to ring (because it hinges on the arcane difference in Australian law between a pre-tax employee superannuation contribution and a post-tax employee superannuation contribution and I don't want to put anyone to sleep). What is important is the conversation between me and a helpful-ish chap called Sam.
Me: So this is the problem. (Explains problem)
Sam: Oh, we can fix that. I'll need to contact your employer to get them to send a letter requesting the change.
Me: Fine, we'll do that. Thanks for your he-
Sam: No, it's the rules. We need to contact the employer ourselves.
Me: Right.
Sam: Are these the current contact details for your employer? (Reads details)
Me: Yes.
Sam: So I need to speak to the person in charge of the payroll. Can you tell me who to ask for?
Me (With a growing suspicion about the egregious stupidity about to occur): That would be the finance manager. That's me. And you've just told me what I need to do.
Sam (Confused because his script doesn't allow for the possibility that the employee and the finance manager might be the same person): But I need to contact the employer.
Me: But you'd be talking to me anyway, so surely this will do?
Sam (Has a bright idea about how to get his own way): But it's verification. If I contact you at your employer, it's like confirmation of your identity. So if you haven't got any more queries, I can call you back.
Me: But Sam, it's my day off. I'm not at work.
Sam (Goes back to the safety blanket): But we need to contact the employer.
I gave up in the end. There are better ways to spend my day off. So I'll get to work tomorrow and there'll be a message telling me to call Sam. I hate call centres.
It's not important why I had to ring (because it hinges on the arcane difference in Australian law between a pre-tax employee superannuation contribution and a post-tax employee superannuation contribution and I don't want to put anyone to sleep). What is important is the conversation between me and a helpful-ish chap called Sam.
Me: So this is the problem. (Explains problem)
Sam: Oh, we can fix that. I'll need to contact your employer to get them to send a letter requesting the change.
Me: Fine, we'll do that. Thanks for your he-
Sam: No, it's the rules. We need to contact the employer ourselves.
Me: Right.
Sam: Are these the current contact details for your employer? (Reads details)
Me: Yes.
Sam: So I need to speak to the person in charge of the payroll. Can you tell me who to ask for?
Me (With a growing suspicion about the egregious stupidity about to occur): That would be the finance manager. That's me. And you've just told me what I need to do.
Sam (Confused because his script doesn't allow for the possibility that the employee and the finance manager might be the same person): But I need to contact the employer.
Me: But you'd be talking to me anyway, so surely this will do?
Sam (Has a bright idea about how to get his own way): But it's verification. If I contact you at your employer, it's like confirmation of your identity. So if you haven't got any more queries, I can call you back.
Me: But Sam, it's my day off. I'm not at work.
Sam (Goes back to the safety blanket): But we need to contact the employer.
I gave up in the end. There are better ways to spend my day off. So I'll get to work tomorrow and there'll be a message telling me to call Sam. I hate call centres.
