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In a shameless isolation stereotype, today I made bread. Focaccia. And it was good.

A game I have been playing this week: "Who's On The Phone?" From my temporary office I can hear my mother on her phone. Can I guess who it is from her side of the conversation before she finishes? Most of them are easy. Mention of quilt patterns: that's her quilting friend, Sue. Asking about the dogs: Jan. Random chatter about gardens, things she's watched on TV, and where a rather contrary mutual friend has moved to: Colleen.

But there was one tricky one. It went like this:
[Phone rings]
"Oh, hello!... Yes, good, thanks, we're fine. And you, how are you going, are you still at work?... Yes, my daughter is working from home too... Yes, it must be a bit tricky... Oh, no, I didn't know that... No, that wasn't long at all, was it?... Oh, that's no good, and in the current situation, that will be hard... Well, thanks for letting me know, all the best."

I mean... is that bad news? But she didn't sound all that sad about it. And she called me "my daughter", not by my name as I'd expect if she was talking to one of her friends. And most of her friends are either retired or nurses, so no working from home for them. I just couldn't work it out.

So when I came out to make a cup of tea, I said, "Who was that on the phone?" and my mother waved her hand airily.

"Oh," she said, "that was Harry."

"Who's Harry?"

"He's the young man from the real estate agent who was selling the house down the road last year. I had to give him my number when I went to have a look round, and he rings every now and then to let me know about other houses for sale in the area. There's one for sale around the corner, they have to sell up after less than a year."

I admitted I wouldn't have guessed that.

Weekly knitting photo )
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Thursday evening I went to the launch of the 2020 season at the local theatre. The first half of the launch is the theatre director introducing all the shows that are coming to the theatre next year, including a modern dance piece in which a group of people dressed in hospital gowns with shower caps pulled down over their faces danced to plinky electronic music in piles of salt. Not for me, that one.

After the interval there was a bonus performance, this year by three women doing feminist poetry and kitchen-based acrobatics. Two of them were quite young, but the third was quite a lot older. I guessed fifty; my mother guessed sixty ("you can tell by her sinewy legs"); a friend I ran into on the way out said seventy. I don't think she was that old, but she was certainly doing a lot of flipping about that I couldn't do now (or ever, to be honest), much less in another decade or so.

The old man sitting behind me was very much not into the poetry. He was very impressed by the acrobatics. So they'd be clambering about on furniture naming all the things that were keeping them awake at night, then doing a handstand or whatever. One of them would shout, "PAP SMEAR!" and the man behind me would quietly groan. Then she would somersault off a chair that was on a chair on a chair on a table on a table, and he would say, "Ooh!" Over and over again, like verbal whiplash.

The youngest acrobat rode a tricycle on her head. Like, with her head on the seat, pedalling with her hands, with her legs splayed in the air and a balloon with a smily face pinned to her crotch. I mean, it's a way to get around.

Friday afternoon was my work's year end lunch. Just the local staff, so that was okay. They all said some nice things about those of us who are leaving. Friday evening was the annual dinner with a group of my mother's old neighbours in the village she used to live in. This year it was at Jan and Mike's, where I got to meet their new dog, Ziggy. He's very young and very exuberant and very friendly, but once he wound down he decided to go to sleep on my foot.

And that is about 50% of my annual socialising done in a day and a half. So many people (and a very nice dog). I need a rest.
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I went out for lunch one day this week with my mother, her friend Colleen and Colleen's daughter. Colleen told us a story about an elderly couple she used to know who used to have one pair of false teeth between them. "So they'd go out to a café and one would have a bite then they'd take the teeth out and hand them over to the other one." The waitress handing our menus out snorted with laughter.

August books read

* Our House - Louise Candlish (2018) ★ ★ ★
Read more... )

* Black Sea: Dispatches and Recipes Through Darkness and Light - Caroline Eden (2018) ★ ★ ★
Read more... )

* Rex v. Edith Thompson: A Tale of Two Murders - Laura Thompson (2018) ★ ★
Read more... )

* Crooked House - Agatha Christie (1949) ★ ★ ★ ★
Read more... )

* The Doctor's Wife is Dead - Andrew Tierney (2017) ★ ★ ★
Read more... )

* The Double Clue - Agatha Christie (2016) ★ ★ ★ ★
Read more... )
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Some dogs and their owners I see on my weekend beach walk

* An old man who has obviously had a stroke, walking slowly with a limp;
          * A very round, grey-whiskered Jack Russell terrier that waddles at the same speed as him.

* A middle-aged couple in matching tracksuits;
          * A friendly golden retriever.

* A smiley, apple-cheeked old lady who always wears a sun visor;
          * Two Cavalier King Charles spaniels with waggy, feathered tails.

* A distinguished older man I like to assume is a banker forced to retire from burnout;
          * A tiny, bouncy Jack Russell terrier puppy that he gazes adoringly at.

* A taut, wire-thin woman of my mother's age, who has obviously lived a life and now walks it off in neon lycra;
          * An ancient scruffy terrier, always wearing a hot pink coat.

* A young woman who runs up and down the sand dunes;
          * A blue heeler that sits at the top of the dune and watches her.

* A middle-aged woman who is always immaculately dressed and made up;
          * A caramel "poochon" (poodle/Bichon Frise) puppy that is the cutest thing in all the world. (It's even cuter than this one on Youtube, and that's pretty cute.)

* A man about my age who has obviously suffered some sort of injury and has to walk for rehab and does not enjoy it;
          * A fat little fox terrier that trots next to him dutifully.

* A middle-aged couple in tracksuits (not matching);
          * A friendly, trembly grey whippet in a blue bandana.

* A young man who jogs slowly;
          * A Great Dane that doesn't have to go beyond a walk to keep up with him.
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A story.

I would have been eight or nine. I was at home with my grandmother on the farm. Mid-afternoon, so it must have been the weekend or school holidays. My grandmother was cooking: she had some scones in the oven and was now chopping vegetables to make a casserole. I was... I don't know, just mooching about.

We heard a car. The house was right in the middle of the farm, accessed via a long gravel track, so we didn't get people passing by. If a car came, it meant to be there. We headed outside to see who it was.

The car pulled up on the lawn outside the house and a well-dressed older lady stepped out. She looked familiar, but I couldn't think why. She knew me, though. "Hello, Alicia!" she said in the poshest, plummiest voice I'd ever heard, which was also familiar. "And Jean, hello!"

My grandmother knew who the mystery lady was. She greeted her and asked how she was. Mystery Lady was well, apparently. She was on her way home from visiting someone and realised she was about to pass our gate. "And I thought, I'll just pop in and see how Pauline is... but I suppose she's at work?"

My mother was at work, but no matter, said my grandmother, inviting Mystery Lady in for a cup of tea and a fresh scone. Mystery Lady was delighted. She had tea, she had scones. She realised that my grandmother was in the middle of cooking, so she washed her hands and grabbed a knife and the two of them chopped vegetables and chatted for over an hour. She knew all about us and once she'd heard our news, she told us all about the holiday she and Jim had just been on. They had another cup of tea, then my grandmother wrapped up a few scones for her to take home for Jim. We walked back out to the car with her and waved her off. What a nice mystery lady she was.

As we stood there, watching her car head back to the road, I finally asked my grandmother what I'd wanted to know ever since the car pulled up. "Who was that?"

And my grandmother, still smiling and waving, said: "I have no idea."

The boring conclusion )

March books read

* Lies Sleeping - Ben Aaronovitch (2018) ★ ★ ★ ★
Read more... )

* Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup - John Carreyrou (2018) ★ ★ ★ ★
Read more... )

* The Song of Seven - Tonke Dragt (1967) (trans. Laura Watkinson, 2016) ★ ★ ★
Read more... )

* The Storm Keeper's Island - Catherine Doyle (2018) ★ ★ ★
Read more... )

* There's Someone Inside Your House - Stephanie Perkins (2017) ★ ★
Read more... )

* The Letter to the King - Tonke Dragt (1962) (trans. Laura Watkinson, 2015) ★ ★ ★ ★
Read more... )
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1. Australian politics has self-immolated again. I can't even begin to describe the current nonsense. Let's just say we're about to have our sixth prime minister since 2010 (or fifth, as one of them did it twice). Perhaps we could try not having a government for a while. I think the sun would still rise.

2. News from my mother, part I
"He's auditioned to go on Pointless as he had such a good time on something called Dating In Your Undies."

3. Some brief information in order to set up the next part
My mother's brother died last year. His wife, Ann, is carer for her elderly mother, with no help from her sisters. Ann went on holiday to Greece a couple of weeks ago, which necessitated putting her mother in a temporary respite home as none of the sisters would take her. While Ann was away, her mother died. My mother went to the funeral on Tuesday.

4. News from my mother, part II
"I said to Ann, did you get home in time to see her? And Ann said, no, she got home yesterday and only found out last night that the old lady had died. The sisters hadn't called her to tell her. Ann had been thinking of having an extra night in Singapore and just as well she didn't, she would have missed the funeral all together. I mean, what a family."

5. On dodging a bullet
Earlier in the year, I was interviewed for a job that I really wanted, corporate services manager at a not-for-profit shelter, but never heard back from them. Rude! Anyway, my weekly quiz team includes a journalist from the local paper. He said to me last week, "You dodged a bullet there. You know the CEO who interviewed you? She's apparently done a runner, not turning up to work, not answering calls, and the woman who got your job is stuck running the show."

6. Update on some things I hadn't reported in the first place
We now have a working oven and a new letterbox.
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Today is Thursday, 5 January, and this morning I saw hot cross buns in the supermarket bakery.

The shopping trolleys at the supermarket are chained together until you put a coin in to release one. This morning I was returning my trolley when I encountered an elderly couple, presumably tourists from some place that doesn't have coin-release shopping trolleys. The man had put the coin in the second trolley from the end, so when he wheeled his trolley out, he had two, still chained in the middle. The obvious thing to do would be to re-chain the trolley and put the coin in the first trolley, but they didn't do that.

Instead, they were searching through their small change for another dollar, the coin that fits into the trolley. They had plenty of other coins and plenty of notes, but no dollars. The woman was looking around for help. She said, "Perhaps I could go to the cigarette counter and they might change my silver to a dollar." That's when I realised they didn't know you get your dollar back.

So I said, "I can fix this. Just let me get rid of my trolley first." So I chained my trolley and got my coin back, used it to separate their two trolleys, then waved off the woman trying to give me her two fifty cent pieces. "No, no, I'll chain the spare trolley and get my dollar back. You'll get yours back when you're finished."

The woman said, "Oh, good," and the man said, "I'm not ready for these new-fangled machines."
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"Oh, we are honoured," said my mother, pointing out two people walking up our driveway yesterday: her older brother and his wife.

Uncle B came into the kitchen and handed over a box of chocolates, then came over to watch me shelling nuts. "What are those green and purple buggers?" he asked.

"Pistachios. Want some?" He recoiled.

Aunt A said to him, "Pistachios are *nice*," so I offered her the bowl and she took two. "Yes, these are good ones," she said and, reassured he wouldn't be poisoned, Uncle B stuck his paw in the bowl and scooped out a fistful. He tried one.

"Aw, it's hard. I nearly cracked my teeth." Behind him, Aunt A rolled her eyes. It must have been all right, because he ate the rest.

Scenes from a day )
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Per my last entry, it turns out there really are such things as disguise-related charges. To whit: Being disguised with unlawful intent, under which you can't go about in disguise or with a blackened face or with a disguise in your possession, maximum penalty of two years' imprisonment. So there we go. Imagine the circumstances in which you could be mistakenly charged with that. "No, officer, I swear I'm on my way home from a fancy dress party I went to dressed as a burglar."

Last night on a whim I went to a starting your own business workshop. I don't really plan to start my own business, unless it's doing some sort of consulting, I suppose. This was more about opening a shop and selling things, which is not my cup of tea. It was all about applying for an ABN and writing a business plan, which, as I said to the man running it, is what I do. So he started using me as a sort of back up to what he was trying to teach the others. Teacher's pet, that's me.

There was a young woman sitting next to me who wanted to be an interior decorator and she wanted to be told how great her idea was and how good she would be at it. And the guy wouldn't. He was very nice, but he put her on the spot. "I'm a customer, I come to you and say I want my house to look just like that one I saw last night on The Block, what do you say?"

"Well, I don't watch television, those shows are rubbish."

"But that's what they're going to say."

"I'd look at their websites and get pictures from there."

"So who are your inspirations?"

"What?"

"Who do you follow? Where do you get trends? Do you look at the big suppliers?"

"I s'pose."

"So if I came to you and said I saw this great Williams-Sonoma pot somewhere, where would you get it? Would you know what else to recommend?"

"Well I don't know who Williams Sss is, so... no."

And then she was squirming, so he said, quite kindly, that her business plan needed more work, and she spent the rest of the session sulking and playing with her phone.

Today my colleagues were talking about Kris Kringle, which seems a little early. My boss said he drew his own name last year, and someone said he could have re-drawn, and he said, no, he went and bought himself a TAB betting voucher and it was his favourite present for the year.
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Today I had to call my former finance assistant in my works's old office, now another company, on the other side of the state. The phone there was answered by, let's call her Trish, for that is not her name. There weren't any Trishes working there last year, so I said, "This is Alicia from NewCompany, is [former assistant] available, please?" And Trish, I could hear her smiling as soon as I said that. She was thrilled to talk to me (that is not a universal experience, I must say). She asked how I was, and mentioned several of my past antics (e.g. the year I tried out different fortune telling methods for footy tipping, and my constant campaign to stop people using the colour photocopier unnecessarily), and all I could think was, what sort of impression did I make over there that they are telling new employees about their former finance manager? "She managed our money and she was MAD!" Anyway, I politely endured her, and then she put me through to [former assistant].

When I got off the phone, I told Jenny/NA about it, and she said, "Oh, that would be Patricia who left in 2014, remember her? I'd heard they re-hired her." So it was someone I'd actually worked with for three years. And she was the person that organised the footy tipping the year I did the fortune telling thing, so that should have given me a clue. That's what happens when you go by a different version of your name. It could confuse a stupid person.

It's the last day of the month and I won't finish my current book tonight, so here is:

May books read

* The Buried Giant - Kazuo Ishiguro (2015) ★ ★ ★ ★
Read more... )

* The Beetle: A Mystery - Richard Marsh (1897) ★ ★ ★
Read more... )

* The High Mountains of Portugal - Yann Martell (2016) ★ ★
Read more... )

* Hy Brasil - Margaret Elphinstone (2002) ★ ★ ★ ★
Read more... )

* Miss Marjoribanks - Margaret Oliphant (1866) (abandoned, twice)
Read more... )

* The Road to Little Dribbling: More Notes from a Small Island - Bill Bryson (2015) ★ ★ ★
Read more... )
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A conversation overheard in a café:

Person 1: Is that an apple thing?
Person 2, playing with his phone: Yeah, it's an iPhone.
Person 1: No, I meant... [to woman behind the counter] I'll have one of those apple turnovers, thanks.

In crime news, according to a headline I saw today:

Thieves steal rock from National Rock Gallery

I must admit, this is the first I've heard of us having a National Rock Gallery. But apparently you can just wander in empty-handed and wander out again with a piece of quartz that weights three-quarters of a tonne. Anyway, the gallery's chairman ...is urging Canberrans to keep an eye out for the rock, which is predominantly white in colour.

"It would be a bit unusual for your neighbour to turn up with a big white rock," he said.

"If someone's seen a big white rock unloaded in someone's front garden we'd like to hear about it."


So there's something to look out for.
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Two women were walking down the street in front of me this morning. I say walking, but what they were doing was dawdling, taking up the whole footpath and preventing me from getting to work. Grah. Anyway, as I walked behind them, this is what one of them was saying:

'And she's gone off on her school survival camp this week. I took her down to the bus and I said to her, "I've got three words to say to you," and she said, "Aw yeah, Mum, I love you too," and I said, "No, love. Hat. And. Sunscreen."'
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I've been to Brisbane, f-list. I'm back now.

The way the flight worked out, I ended up landing too late to go to either the ballet or the play that I had you vote on. Only when I checked in, Qantas' automatic checker-inner thing offered me an earlier flight, which I took, wishing I had bought a ballet ticket after all. Only then we were delayed for fifty minutes before leaving Melbourne, and for another fifty minutes before landing at Brisbane, so I ended up landing more or less when I was originally meant to. The plus side, though, was that my original flight was also delayed, so at least I landed earlier than I would have.

The bit of Brisbane that I saw seemed very nice. My hotel room overlooked some sort of sports ground. The restaurant where I ate my breakfast overlooked the river. I went for a walk along the riverside pathway, which is apparently an unusual thing to do, as I was the only one doing it. Just me and a lot of white ibis. I have a poor sense of direction, so I never dare go far in a strange city if I have to be somewhere by a particular time. I got cocky after walking in a straight line along the river and back again, so I decided to get a bit fancy and go around the block. It turned out that the block was weirdly shaped, though, so after walking in what I thought was a square, I wasn't back on the road I was expecting to be on. Then I noticed that I was standing near the sports ground (actually race track) I could see from my hotel window, so I used that to calibrate my inner compass and arrived back in time to clean my teeth, check out, and get to my accounting meeting. Phew, hey?

The reason the flight there was late was because Brisbane had had heavy rainfall that day, then I landed in Melbourne last night in time for the heaviest storm in years. It rained all the way home this morning, too. I don't want to sound paranoid, but I think the rain is following me. Novel as it was to wake up to daylight in Brisbane and spend the day working in short sleeves, arriving home to dark and wind and rain did make me think, this is weather.

When my flight home was boarding, after I was seated, a middle-aged man in a business suit got on and found his seat. He blocked the aisle to put his bag in the overhead compartment, the way everyone does. He lifted his bag above his head, only to find there was already a bag in the spot for his bag. He put his bag down and looked around, stunned. He lifted his bag again and started to put it on top of the bag already there. He realised that the bag already there was soft and would be squashed by his hard case, so he put his down again. He started to lift the other bag and slip his bag under it, then he stopped and put his bag on the ground and looked around, shocked that he had touched someone else's bag. He looked in the locker across the aisle from his. He looked in the locker in front of his. Eventually he found a space in the locker behind his. He went to his seat and started to sit. The man behind him stopped leaning on the seats and started to move. But the first man wasn't finished. Just before he made contact with the seat, he jumped up and went back to his bag. He unzipped a compartment and felt for something. It wasn't there. He unzipped another compartment and felt around. He unzipped a third compartment and found what he was after: his complimentary headphones, which he could only have picked up on the way onto the plane. He went back to his seat. He looked as though he was about to sit, but he didn't. He turned around and went back to his bag, this time to zip up the three compartments he'd just opened. Finally, he sat down, and the queue moved on with no-one telling him to hurry up or anything.

The bus from the airport stops at the train station, and my hotel for last night was directly across the road, the better to catch the early train home this morning. A wild-eyed man was standing outside the train station shouting how there was a woman in the Bible, he couldn't remember her name but she had homophobia, and then she met Jesus and he cured her of the bleeding that hadn't stopped for years. Someone walking past said to him, 'You mean haemophilia, mate,' and the man said, 'Yes, he cured that too.' I was waiting to cross the road to my hotel when a man stopped me and asked the way to Collins Street. I'd like to know what it is about me that gives the impression I know the way to go, because it's sending the wrong signal. Then again, the choice was between me and the wild-eyed Jesus fan, so, yeah. Anyway, even though I have a poor sense of direction, I *can* read street signs, so I sent him in the right direction. Job done.

I organised my mother to look after Percy while I was away. I though she was just going to pop in now and then, but she and John actually came in and stayed for two nights. 'We had to stay, to put the heater on for him,' my mother explained, 'so he didn't get cold, poor love.' Also, she's been heating his dinner in the microwave, 'just to take the chill off it'. What a spoilt cat.

May books )
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The local member of parliament has sent me a newsletter. He likes to keep in touch. It's a four-page newsletter (as in, one sheet of A3 folded in half), and in those four pages, he has managed to put his photograph nine times. Just in case you forget whose newsletter it is from one article to another.

I also received an email today from a woman who signed herself 'Finance Executive for MICE'. So that must be nice for her.

I have just come home from a meeting of the all the finance managers of the sister-organisations in our funding network. The convenor thought it would be a good idea to start with an ice-breaking exercise where we had to do a little personality questionnaire to find out what sort of bird we were: eagle, dove, peacock or owl. I have no idea what was going to happen after that; maybe the birds of a feather would flock together and… I don't know. Squawk at each other? At any rate, it didn't work. In a room of fourteen accountants and one convenor, we ended up with fourteen owls and one peacock. He was stunned. 'That's never happened before!' he said, but, really, what did he expect? We should have had a questionnaire to find out who was the owliest owl.

Going to this meeting meant a trip to Melbourne on the train. The Warrnambool to Melbourne train is a reserved seating service. You have to book a ticket in advance to travel in First or Economy; if you buy a ticket on the day, you go in Unreserved Economy. It's not a secret. There are posters up where you buy tickets, it says so when you buy online, and they announce it several times before the train takes off. I've heard that spiel so often I could do it from memory should the conductor ever lose the script (and I like to think I could do it with a bit more pizazz than he puts into it). Anyway, when the conductor came round to First Class to check our tickets, the well-dressed middle-aged woman in front of me had an Unreserved Economy ticket. The conductor pointed this out and woman went right off. 'No-one told me!' she said with indignation, as the woman on the other side of the aisle looked at me and rolled her eyes. We'd been told three times: twice at the platform and once after setting off, and the woman been there the whole time, not wearing headphones or anything like that. The conductor escorted her politely to the proper carriage, and good riddance. Unreserved Economy riffraff. :-)

After she went, the real owner of that seat arrived. Lawks, she could talk. As she made her way along the carriage, she told three random people, loudly, that she hadn't been on a train for thirty years. When she sat down, she told the woman sitting next to her, loudly, that she hadn't been on a train for thirty years, except for yesterday. Yesterday when she left the station she took a taxi to the hospital and it took six minutes, but today when she took a taxi from the hospital to the station, it took twenty-six minutes. Road works. Then someone she knew got on the train and stopped to chat to her and she told them that she hadn't been on a train for thirty years except for yesterday, when it took her six minutes to get to the hospital, but today it took twenty-six minutes to do the reverse trip on account of the road works.

The person she knew said, 'Oh dear, are you all right, going to the hospital?' and the woman said, 'Oh, it's not me, I went to see Stephen, he's had an operation on his back. He had an emergency op on Saturday and two more since then, so I thought I'd best go see him. First time I've been on a train in thirty years!'

I'm not sure, but I think it was the first time she'd been on a train in thirty years.

I gave it some thought on the way home and I reckon it would be possible to abuse the reserved seating system to try to get a solo seat. You could buy two tickets and return one the day before travelling, thus ensuring that there was only a very small window of time when the neighbouring seat was available to sell. I am almost tempted to try that next time, just to see if it works.
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1. The stray cat was caught in the cage last night. I called my mother and she arrived before I went to work; she's going to call the rangers as soon as they open for the day. It's hot, hot, hot today, so I put the cage in the bathroom, where it's cool and dark, and gave the cat some fresh mince and water. With any luck, the rangers will pick it up early, so it won't have to spend too long in the cage. I feel bad about this, particularly listening to it mewing this morning, but I think it's for the best.

2. No camels again this morning during my walk on the beach, but there was a surfing school. About twenty teenage girls in wetsuits with surfboards on the sand, learning how to jump up and not fall off.

3. As soon as the new year started, back to school signs started appearing in shops. It gives them something to fill the gap between Christmas and Easter. Yesterday I passed Dick Smith's, an electronics chain, which had a big back to school poster: DICK'S BACKPACK PICKS. Try saying that ten times quickly.

4. In the supermarket's express lane, the young man a few places ahead of me must have smelled terrible, because when he stepped forward to the checkout, the woman behind it and the girl behind the checkout next to it and her customer all stepped back. When he left, the woman who served him reached under the desk and got out a spray can of smelly stuff. I was her next customer and she told me how she had a bath every morning and then she had to have another every night too to get rid of the smell of customers. I think that's a scandalous waste of water, but I just nodded sympathetically. I was paranoid then that she would get out her can of smelly stuff after I left too, but she just called the next customer.

5. I have been feeling good about my plans to tie up loose ends this year. No new books until I finish the ones I have; same with craft projects. I mean, it's only mid-January, so it hasn't been a great hardship. If I am tempted to buy a book, I've set up a note in Evernote where I write down the titles. My thinking is: either they'll still be available to read in 2013, or my fancy will have moved on. Anyway, this has been going well, until yesterday, on my way out of the supermarket, I passed Book City, which is holding a closing down sale with progressive reductions on all stock. Oh. Fortunately, I had my hands full with bags of groceries, so I passed by. But I think I might not walk down that part of the street for the next week or so, just to avoid temptation.

Raw Sienna

Jan. 6th, 2012 04:11 pm
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The other morning as I was doing my pre-work walk on the beach, I saw a wallaby hopping along the shore, followed by seagulls. I don't know if they were chasing it or just curious. So that was a thing. This morning, I saw six camels, which was a surprise. Apparently they are doing camel rides on the beach over summer, and I was there in time to see them arrive for the day. So that was another thing.

There was a woman in the Post Office today who was sort of but not quite standing at the end of the line of people under the PLEASE QUEUE HERE sign. I couldn't tell if she was in the queue or just looking at something nearby, so I said to her, 'Are you the end of the queue?'

She said, 'Oh, I suppose I must be. I've never been here before, so I don't know how it works.' So she got in line and I stood behind her and that was that. I thought it was odd, though. I didn't think queuing was such a difficult concept, or unique to the local Post Office.

My mother wanted to buy some quilt fabric today and fancied a trip to the little fabric store in Cobden, a little under an hour away from the City by the Sea. According to the Welcome to Cobden, population 1,534, board at the outskirts of town, Cobden's WEEK OF GOLF! starts on 18 February. So put that in your calendars.

On the way to Cobden, we passed through the even smaller town of Naringal. The Naringal primary school has a big board in its grounds that says:

2012 RESOLUTION
DON'T POINT A FINGER
LEND A HAND

There's something in that for all of us.
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I am ambivalent about fireworks. On the one hand: Ooh, pretty. On the other: It's a lot of sitting around, watching one expensive firework and another and another and... .

But letting them all off at once? Genius. All fireworks displays should be like that. Short, but definitely giving you your money's worth.

There is something of a to-do in the local paper at the moment. A woman purchased a 30cm inflatable wading pool, took it home, then read on the box that she needed to talk to her local council about whether she needed to put a safety fence around it. So she spoke to our local council, and lo! She was told to put up a fence costing $2,000. (I don't know if the council specified the cost or she spoke to a fencing contractor.) So, outraged, she complained to the local paper.

I don't know. I am prevaricating. One: Building a permanent fence around a small, temporary pool does seem excessive. Two: I nearly drowned a couple of times as a kid (admittedly, in a much larger pool) and wouldn't wish that on anyone*. Three: She could have read the box before buying it, so she wouldn't be in this fix. Four: Won't someone think of the children?

Ultimately, I think I am coming down on the side of: If she didn't complain to the paper, who would know if she put up a fence of not? What do you think?



* It is true what they say about your life flashing before your eyes.
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Today I went to a taxation and payroll seminar. Non-stop fun. Actually, it was quite good. This isn't relevant to 99.9999% of people reading this, but if any Australian readers have taxation and payroll training needs, these people do the business. They also do a nice spread for lunch. </ free plug>

There's always a danger that the presenters at these things might be a bit accountant-y. Wheezing with laughter as he says, '...and, and he thought he could avoid the capital gains tax implications, ahahahahaha!' But today's guy wasn't like that. He only succumbed to accountant tendencies once, when talking about withholding tax from payments to performing artists. He told us about a client of his who is a circus performer, who only comes to get her tax done every five years or so. 'Tax just isn't a priority for her,' he said sadly. Circus performers! Aren't concerned about tax! Who'd have thought it?

There was a woman there who was That Person. You know, there's always one in a group: asks lots of only slightly relevant questions and is always more X than anyone else. At lunch we were saying how nice it was to have something happening here in the City by the Sea, rather than having a six-hour round trip to Melbourne. One of the participants said she was from Mount Gambier (just across the state border), so for her it was a four-hour round trip to here, which was still better than the ten-hour round trip she would normally have to make to her state capital. The rest of us were clucking sympathetically when That Person said, 'Well, I don't live right in town, I mean it's more than a five minute drive.' Yes, lady, but it doesn't involve crossing the state border and changing time zones, so you can't win that contest.

At the end of the day, I was walking across the concourse to the car park, when a man shouted from a passing car, 'Get back to work!' The woman next to me tsked in a what-is-the-world-coming-to-when-women-can't-walk-across-a-car-park-without-being-heckled sort of way, and I had to say, 'No, that's my boss.' I've got no idea what he was doing driving around the beach during working hours.
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I have been out and about in the countryside today. I saw lambs, spring lambs. They were gambolling. It was good.

It has been a funny old week. I didn't take my photo of the day on Wednesday. I forgot all about it until I picked up the camera to take Thursday's photo. Shameful, I know.

But then, Wednesday was busy. Busy, busy, busy. Wednesday morning, my boss beckoned me as I passed his office. 'I've just had Angela in here,' he said, 'telling me she's concerned about you.' What? It turned out she had seen the rat's nest of paper on my desk and on the floor and thought it seemed out of character. So our boss had a look at my desk, realised I was in the middle of doing the half-yearly reports and told her not to worry.

I've just signed up for an advanced Excel course in September. Partly because I have Excel 2010 at work and I'm sick of not knowing where to find anything on the ribbon, partly because it sounds interesting. Custom controls! Conditional formatting! Using the Solver! I actually know how to use the Solver, but I just don't get to use it. Homework will be so exciting.

There was a knock on the door today: a middle-aged woman. I said, 'Oh, you're here to collect the census.' She sighed.

'I'm getting a lot of that today. No. Would you like a copy of The Watchtower?'
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1. I have been feeling... disengaged lately. Flat and sluggish and blah. It's probably from my cold. Maybe a list will get me back on track.

2.My mother went to a quilting camp last weekend. While there, talk apparently turned to her meat-free sausage rolls (so meat-free they don't even include bacon) and she promised to give copies of the recipe to all interested parties. She finished telling me this by saying, 'And you're so much faster at typing than I am.' Which is true.

3. So I typed this recipe for her, so while it's fresh, you can all have it too )

4. May I say, they really are quite good. The raw filling looks like grey gloop, but is more or less indistinguishable from normal sausage rolls when cooked, but not as greasy. I mean, you wouldn't want them every day, but as a party nibble, they're fab.

5. Today I read a couple of articles about the 'last name effect'. Apparently, if your last name begins with a letter early in the alphabet, you deliberate longer over shopping choices; if your last name is towards the end of the alphabet, you shop more quickly. People with last names in the middle of the alphabet (like me) are somewhere in the middle. But! The effect is only linked to childhood last names, so if you changed your last name as an adult from Zebedee to Arbuthnot, you'd still tend towards speedy purchasing decisions. So there you go. Make of that what you will.

6. I'm not really happy with my Monday and Tuesday photos. I actually forgot both days until quite late at night; part of the previously mentioned sluggishness, I think. So yesterday, I thought I'd make an effort and stop somewhere scenic on my way home. And it was beautiful. Officially the first day of winter, but really a lovely late autumn day, crisp and still, and I was looking down a hill at a lake surrounded by golden-red trees, with the sea in the distance. Oh, it was lovely. Then I turned my camera on and the screen said MEMORY CARD ERROR and wouldn't let me take a photo. So that was the end of that.

7. MasterChef hasn't been gripping me at all this year, which is sad. Still, last night someone made wasabi and lemon myrtle spring rolls, so that's a taste sensation to think about. Then reject.

8. It's inspired a poll, though.
[Poll #1748047]

9. I am currently harbouring ill-will towards cold people at work who insist on having the heating turned way up. I tend the other way, but I'd be happy to strike a deal whereby the heating is permanently left at a mutually agreed level and cold people could, you know, put on a spencer, as opposed to the current arrangement whereby they can turn the heating up as high as they like. Yesterday morning the temperature had barely managed to get above zero, but inside was tropical. I hate it. I'm all hot and bothered and it makes my nose block up (admittedly, that will stop when my cold clears up). My colleague Brian is retiring at the end of the year and the office manager has suggested that she might move out of her lonely, sweltering office and sit at his desk. 'Would you like that?' she asked. Well, no, not if she controls the thermostat.

10. Finally, I've lost my good gloves. Has anyone seen them?

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