![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Lady table-hoppers
Feb. 22nd, 2010 03:38 pmI've just finished reading Joan Crawford's My Way of Life. Joan's way of life was awesome, in case you're wondering. Joan didn't like visitors dropping in unannounced, so in that sense she was just like me. However, then I read something like this and realise, no, she wasn't like me at all:
I discovered that I must have instilled a few of the social graces in the children when I let the twins take charge of their own ninth birthday party... They invited the whole of the first class and decided on the menu by themselves. There was vodka and caviar, a clear soup, New York cut steak with a large selection of vegetables, a salad, and cheese trays -- accompanied by a good red wine. Finally there was a tremendous birthday cake for all the guests, and Dom Perignon. I didn't suggest a bit of it to them. It was entirely their own menu.
Right.
The book is, as the title suggests, just Joan outlining her day-to-day life. Handy tips for living. It intersperses moments of common sense (look after your clothes and they'll last longer, regular exercise is good for you) between moments of utter madness. It's brilliant.
Joan instructs us on the importance of having a 'yes' face, an agreeable countenance to give an impression of youth. To achieve this, 'open your mouth as wide as you can and at the same time purse your lips as if you're trying to whistle. Hold it for ten seconds.' (But! 'For heaven's sake be sure you're alone when you do these, because you'll look ridiculous.' Thanks for that, Joan.)
Joan has a particular dislike of 'lady table-hoppers': women who leave their table at a restaurant to go and say hello to friends at another table. There is nothing (Joan's italics) more undignified. Don't do that, f-list, or Joan will be upset. You can, if you must, smile across the room if you see a friend, and he can stop at your table on the way out if he has time.
( Very private Joan )
Sadly, I've combed the book but I can't find again my favourite quote, about how all you need to face the world is to put on a hat and say, 'I'm Joan Crawford.' Advice we should all follow.
Seriously, f-list, everyone should read this book.
I discovered that I must have instilled a few of the social graces in the children when I let the twins take charge of their own ninth birthday party... They invited the whole of the first class and decided on the menu by themselves. There was vodka and caviar, a clear soup, New York cut steak with a large selection of vegetables, a salad, and cheese trays -- accompanied by a good red wine. Finally there was a tremendous birthday cake for all the guests, and Dom Perignon. I didn't suggest a bit of it to them. It was entirely their own menu.
Right.
The book is, as the title suggests, just Joan outlining her day-to-day life. Handy tips for living. It intersperses moments of common sense (look after your clothes and they'll last longer, regular exercise is good for you) between moments of utter madness. It's brilliant.
Joan instructs us on the importance of having a 'yes' face, an agreeable countenance to give an impression of youth. To achieve this, 'open your mouth as wide as you can and at the same time purse your lips as if you're trying to whistle. Hold it for ten seconds.' (But! 'For heaven's sake be sure you're alone when you do these, because you'll look ridiculous.' Thanks for that, Joan.)
Joan has a particular dislike of 'lady table-hoppers': women who leave their table at a restaurant to go and say hello to friends at another table. There is nothing (Joan's italics) more undignified. Don't do that, f-list, or Joan will be upset. You can, if you must, smile across the room if you see a friend, and he can stop at your table on the way out if he has time.
( Very private Joan )
Sadly, I've combed the book but I can't find again my favourite quote, about how all you need to face the world is to put on a hat and say, 'I'm Joan Crawford.' Advice we should all follow.
Seriously, f-list, everyone should read this book.