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My fat, leering skull
Mar. 5th, 2010 02:24 pmWaiting in the dentist's office this morning I read a dental magazine, in which I learnt that, while teeth whitening is generally an acceptable thing to do, one's teeth should never be whiter than the whites of one's eyes. That's quite a vivid mental image, isn't it? Then I flicked through the November 2009 issue of House and Garden until it was my turn.
I don't mind going to the dentist. I knocked one of my front teeth clean out when I was ten, so I've spent quite a lot of time there. Even so, it's never good to hear him say, 'Just let me get my little jack hammer, hahaha.' Dental humour. I thought I was going to get a clean bill of health, but the very last tooth he looked at made him suck his teeth in concern.
So after I'd finished at the dentist, I had to go to the X-ray department at the hospital to get something called an OPG. In their waiting room I read a magazine from October 1998. But it was a craft magazine, so it's not like the contents can go out of date. Not like when you dig to the bottom of the pile and find a gossip mag that fears Brad Pitt may have split up with Gwyneth Paltrow. After I'd contemplated that for a bit, a very, very young man called me in (seriously, he was a boy. That thing about policemen getting younger obviously also applies to radiographers). He told me that OPG stands for orthopantomograph, and I had to stand looking at a wall, biting a piece of plastic, while two bat wing things spun about my head for ten seconds. Then I had to take the giant X-ray of my fat, leering skull (self-esteem maintenance tip: don't look at X-rays of your own head) back to the dentist, so he can peruse them at his leisure and decide if he needs to take my wisdom tooth out. Fun.
Then I went to the library, where the librarian said, 'Oh, that's a old card, we've got new ones now.' So now I've got a jazzy new library card like a credit card, complete with matching mini card to hang from my keyring. So if I should ever find myself in a book-borrowing emergency with car keys but no wallet, I'm all set.
I don't mind going to the dentist. I knocked one of my front teeth clean out when I was ten, so I've spent quite a lot of time there. Even so, it's never good to hear him say, 'Just let me get my little jack hammer, hahaha.' Dental humour. I thought I was going to get a clean bill of health, but the very last tooth he looked at made him suck his teeth in concern.
So after I'd finished at the dentist, I had to go to the X-ray department at the hospital to get something called an OPG. In their waiting room I read a magazine from October 1998. But it was a craft magazine, so it's not like the contents can go out of date. Not like when you dig to the bottom of the pile and find a gossip mag that fears Brad Pitt may have split up with Gwyneth Paltrow. After I'd contemplated that for a bit, a very, very young man called me in (seriously, he was a boy. That thing about policemen getting younger obviously also applies to radiographers). He told me that OPG stands for orthopantomograph, and I had to stand looking at a wall, biting a piece of plastic, while two bat wing things spun about my head for ten seconds. Then I had to take the giant X-ray of my fat, leering skull (self-esteem maintenance tip: don't look at X-rays of your own head) back to the dentist, so he can peruse them at his leisure and decide if he needs to take my wisdom tooth out. Fun.
Then I went to the library, where the librarian said, 'Oh, that's a old card, we've got new ones now.' So now I've got a jazzy new library card like a credit card, complete with matching mini card to hang from my keyring. So if I should ever find myself in a book-borrowing emergency with car keys but no wallet, I'm all set.