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My Bunchy Paladin
Oct. 27th, 2010 07:09 amThe festive season is fast approaching and you know what that means, f-list: the Christmas with Innovations catalogue arrived in the letterbox yesterday. Sadly, I don't think this year's effort reaches its usual high standards of absurdity, but it has a red hot go.
This year, pillows are where it's at. There's a pillow for everyone on your gift list. There's a pillow with speakers deep inside it to play soothing sleep chimes. There's a wedge pillow to ease heartburn. There's a vibrating knee pillow. Best of all, there's the Chillow, a pillow that 'produces a steady, lasting, cool and comforting sensation without blowing air, making noise or costing money to operate'. There was a diagram of a woman sleeping on a Chillow with red arrows shooting out all round her head. I don't know. That pillow technology is too advanced for me.
If pillows don't take your fancy, there's the credit card shredding machine. That would be for the person in your life who doesn't own scissors. There is a plastic owl whose head spins right round in the wind. I was briefly excited by the heading Mouse waiters at your service!, but that turned out to be two mouse figurines that hold a bottle of wine between them. Boo. I wanted real mouse waiters.
They are still trying to convince people that 'laptops are great, but if you just need a word processor this portable electronic typewriter could save you a fortune' because 'you don't need a separate printer'. This suggestion is also still accompanied by a photo of a backspace key with the caption Easy to use correction key! It's just not Christmas until I see that.
I think my pick of the products is the sudoku toilet paper, hyped thusly: Need Mental Stimulation? Forget about reading the National Geographic - just play with the sudoku toilet roll! After you've finished, put it to good use! Double ply.
This year, pillows are where it's at. There's a pillow for everyone on your gift list. There's a pillow with speakers deep inside it to play soothing sleep chimes. There's a wedge pillow to ease heartburn. There's a vibrating knee pillow. Best of all, there's the Chillow, a pillow that 'produces a steady, lasting, cool and comforting sensation without blowing air, making noise or costing money to operate'. There was a diagram of a woman sleeping on a Chillow with red arrows shooting out all round her head. I don't know. That pillow technology is too advanced for me.
If pillows don't take your fancy, there's the credit card shredding machine. That would be for the person in your life who doesn't own scissors. There is a plastic owl whose head spins right round in the wind. I was briefly excited by the heading Mouse waiters at your service!, but that turned out to be two mouse figurines that hold a bottle of wine between them. Boo. I wanted real mouse waiters.
They are still trying to convince people that 'laptops are great, but if you just need a word processor this portable electronic typewriter could save you a fortune' because 'you don't need a separate printer'. This suggestion is also still accompanied by a photo of a backspace key with the caption Easy to use correction key! It's just not Christmas until I see that.
I think my pick of the products is the sudoku toilet paper, hyped thusly: Need Mental Stimulation? Forget about reading the National Geographic - just play with the sudoku toilet roll! After you've finished, put it to good use! Double ply.