The Frightened Bride
Aug. 23rd, 2012 12:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
todayiamadaisyA news item today:
A New Zealand man who assaulted his wife with an ostrich egg after her pet pig damaged his power saw has been jailed for six months.
There's a short story in that, I'm sure. (He threw the egg at her, bruising her chest, if you're wondering.)
As part of our staff development policy at work, we have to do a variety of short courses this year. You know the sort of thing. Time Management and Bullying in the Workplace and so on. We've learnt all about how to do those things. We had to do those as a group, and now we have to choose a course from an approved list and do it alone. I chose Achieving Success with Difficult People. Such fun. One exercise asked me to think about my own difficult tendencies. I don't have any, obviously. I am delightful.
No, that's not true. I am afraid to say, f-list, that I may be a Difficult Person. I have definite Clam-like tendencies. As our book says: These people are perfectionists, always worried about getting things wrong. They react to questions you have posed, controversial statements you have made, and indeed any situation they deem threatening, by clamming up. Oh dear, that's me. Clamming up and thinking what an idiot everyone else is. Apparently, I am to be dealt with like so:
Questions like "How do you feel about this?" or "What are your ideas?" are good starters. Add to those questions a friendly, silent stare to encourage answers. To stop yourself from jumping in with more conversation, be to the point and say something like "I expected you to say something, John, and you're not. What does that mean?" And if that doesn't work, say: "You look distressed. Don't worry about starting at the beginning. What's on your mind right now?"
Just reading that gives me chills. I don't want people staring at me or asking me what's on my mind or calling me John. I want questions submitted in writing so I have time to think about them.
Later on, though, it says that treated firmly but kindly and with compassion, Clams often prove to have useful ideas and can make a valuable contribution. So there's that.
I would feel a lot better about this course if the People I find most Difficult had to do it too.
A New Zealand man who assaulted his wife with an ostrich egg after her pet pig damaged his power saw has been jailed for six months.
There's a short story in that, I'm sure. (He threw the egg at her, bruising her chest, if you're wondering.)
As part of our staff development policy at work, we have to do a variety of short courses this year. You know the sort of thing. Time Management and Bullying in the Workplace and so on. We've learnt all about how to do those things. We had to do those as a group, and now we have to choose a course from an approved list and do it alone. I chose Achieving Success with Difficult People. Such fun. One exercise asked me to think about my own difficult tendencies. I don't have any, obviously. I am delightful.
No, that's not true. I am afraid to say, f-list, that I may be a Difficult Person. I have definite Clam-like tendencies. As our book says: These people are perfectionists, always worried about getting things wrong. They react to questions you have posed, controversial statements you have made, and indeed any situation they deem threatening, by clamming up. Oh dear, that's me. Clamming up and thinking what an idiot everyone else is. Apparently, I am to be dealt with like so:
Questions like "How do you feel about this?" or "What are your ideas?" are good starters. Add to those questions a friendly, silent stare to encourage answers. To stop yourself from jumping in with more conversation, be to the point and say something like "I expected you to say something, John, and you're not. What does that mean?" And if that doesn't work, say: "You look distressed. Don't worry about starting at the beginning. What's on your mind right now?"
Just reading that gives me chills. I don't want people staring at me or asking me what's on my mind or calling me John. I want questions submitted in writing so I have time to think about them.
Later on, though, it says that treated firmly but kindly and with compassion, Clams often prove to have useful ideas and can make a valuable contribution. So there's that.
I would feel a lot better about this course if the People I find most Difficult had to do it too.