The Angel and the Rake
Oct. 8th, 2015 09:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
todayiamadaisyOf course, half an hour after I said there was no word about my work's contract, word turned up. We have definitely got the job. That's the end of seventeen months of uncertainty. Now I'll have to complain about turning one company and three half-companies into one giant company. So there's something for everyone to look forward to.
So, Christmas with Innovations. You may think, as I did, that the good people at Innovations devote their lives to selling bizarrely appealing tat, but no! There is far more to them than that. They are also working at the cutting edge of physics. This year they have cracked the law of gravity. You can stay indoors on your Reclining Zero Gravity Chair, or you can go outside and sit on your Anti-Gravity Garden Recliner (with optional adjustable canopy for shade). How do you go about nominating people for Nobel Prizes? Because they are due.
Also: Shoes they describe as "Probably the most comfortable shoes ever!" Although they also claim these shoes fit like a glove, which would mean they have very long toes?
Arm sleeves, which (a) have a redundant name and (b) are a body-shaping shrug. Spanx for your arms only.
A rolling bag holder. "Just add your own bag", it suggests helpfully.
The Corkcicle, which is an icicle-shaped piece of glass with a cork on top, which you freeze, then stick in a bottle of wine to chill it from inside.
A mosquito trap that "pretends to be human". Look at it, pretending to be human. Indistinguishable from a person! I looked at that picture and thought it was George Clooney.
Anyway, Innovations has never met a piece of tat it can't sell with an exclamation, so here's a game. At left is a list of products, at right is a description. Can you match them?
So, Christmas with Innovations. You may think, as I did, that the good people at Innovations devote their lives to selling bizarrely appealing tat, but no! There is far more to them than that. They are also working at the cutting edge of physics. This year they have cracked the law of gravity. You can stay indoors on your Reclining Zero Gravity Chair, or you can go outside and sit on your Anti-Gravity Garden Recliner (with optional adjustable canopy for shade). How do you go about nominating people for Nobel Prizes? Because they are due.
Also: Shoes they describe as "Probably the most comfortable shoes ever!" Although they also claim these shoes fit like a glove, which would mean they have very long toes?
Arm sleeves, which (a) have a redundant name and (b) are a body-shaping shrug. Spanx for your arms only.
A rolling bag holder. "Just add your own bag", it suggests helpfully.
The Corkcicle, which is an icicle-shaped piece of glass with a cork on top, which you freeze, then stick in a bottle of wine to chill it from inside.
A mosquito trap that "pretends to be human". Look at it, pretending to be human. Indistinguishable from a person! I looked at that picture and thought it was George Clooney.
Anyway, Innovations has never met a piece of tat it can't sell with an exclamation, so here's a game. At left is a list of products, at right is a description. Can you match them?
| Product | Description! |
|---|---|
| A. Touch-open Kitchen Bin | 1.Pump the wine directly into your glass! |
| B. Microfibre Robe & Slippers | 2. Use chalk to label your cheese! |
| C. Donut Ring Lounger | 3. Light comes on when you move! |
| D. Electric Wine Dispenser | 4. Keeps leaves out of the gutter! |
| E. Hedge and Edge Trimmer | 5. Never miss any action! |
| F. Cheese Board Serving Set | 6. Just touch to open! |
| G. Orchid Wall Art | 7. Fun lounger looks just like a donut! |
| H. Brush Gutter Guards | 8. Trim the hedges! |
| I. Motion Activated Light | 9. Perfect gift for Her! |
| J. Waterproof Pocket Monocular | 10. Life-like 61cm in height! |