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I could not resist and pass by
Dec. 31st, 2018 03:08 pmJust for the record: Australia's political war drums have started again. Could we be looking at our seventh Prime Minister since 2010? It won't happen before February (Parliament has shut down for summer), so we've got all of January to watch this mess unfold. The May election to end this nonsense can't come soon enough.
It is that time of year again, f-list. Time for my annual Barbara Cartland book! This year: the nonsensical tale of a Marquis and his... very unusual wife.
A Very Unusual Wife: The watch list
Orphaned heroine with unusual name: Not orphaned - in possession of two parents and three siblings, in fact - but cursed with the name Elmina (her siblings are Mirabel, Deirdre and Desmond, which are at least actual names).
Who — speaks with — Shatner-esque pauses: Yes, of course. "Can I do — that?" Also afflicted with this problem is Lady Sapphire Carstairs, her rival in love: "Who is this — fortunate girl who is to marry the most — attractive man in — the whole world?"
Who lives with her titled uncle: No, it's her father, the Earl of Warnborough, which is not pronounced how you think it is.
And his unsympathetic wife: In this case, her mother, whose worst fault seems to be an old-fashioned taste in dresses.
Absurdly named hero with aristocratic title: Alston, the Marquis of Falcon, who is "the most consequential as well as the most exciting man in the entire neighbourhood".
Female friends of heroine: Two sisters, who seem all right, and one male friend/groom/karate teacher, Chang.
Male friends of hero who seem more pleasant than he does: The Marquis isn't too bad, as these chaps go, but he does have a nice friend, Major Charles Marriott.
Hero and heroine united in shared love of a dog: No, it's horses this time, specifically an Arab mare called Shalom.
Act of vengeance by a bitter former servant: None.
Heroine requires rescue from: Being kidnapped by French horse thieves.
Duels fought: Chang and the Marquis do karate on the horse thieves.
Book ends with one of the pair recovering in bed: Elmina, after nearly being shot during the kidnapping.
What the heroine believes the hero's lips give her when they kiss at the end: As the sun rose, they were part of it and its burning glory swept through them.
Diamond-studded snuff boxes mentioned: None.
Heroine inwardly approves of the hero's champagne-coloured pantaloons: No, it's white riding breeches this time. Also: his nightshirt: "... with the frills round his silk nightshirt high against his neck almost like a cravat and the red of his robe accentuated by the darkness of his hair, he looked, she thought, almost as if he had stepped out of a picture."
Sample stilted dialogue:
"I hope you will enjoy this champagne, Falcon. It's a brand that was recommended to me years ago by King George when he was on the throne."
"He was certainly reputed to be a great connoisseur of wine," the Marquis said conversationally.
(Note that the Marquis spends a lot of his chapters thinking about how boring conversations at Queen Victoria's court are, and, I mean, if that's an example of his own conversation, he's not helping the problem.)
( This book, f-list )
It is that time of year again, f-list. Time for my annual Barbara Cartland book! This year: the nonsensical tale of a Marquis and his... very unusual wife.
A Very Unusual Wife: The watch list
Orphaned heroine with unusual name: Not orphaned - in possession of two parents and three siblings, in fact - but cursed with the name Elmina (her siblings are Mirabel, Deirdre and Desmond, which are at least actual names).
Who — speaks with — Shatner-esque pauses: Yes, of course. "Can I do — that?" Also afflicted with this problem is Lady Sapphire Carstairs, her rival in love: "Who is this — fortunate girl who is to marry the most — attractive man in — the whole world?"
Who lives with her titled uncle: No, it's her father, the Earl of Warnborough, which is not pronounced how you think it is.
And his unsympathetic wife: In this case, her mother, whose worst fault seems to be an old-fashioned taste in dresses.
Absurdly named hero with aristocratic title: Alston, the Marquis of Falcon, who is "the most consequential as well as the most exciting man in the entire neighbourhood".
Female friends of heroine: Two sisters, who seem all right, and one male friend/groom/karate teacher, Chang.
Male friends of hero who seem more pleasant than he does: The Marquis isn't too bad, as these chaps go, but he does have a nice friend, Major Charles Marriott.
Hero and heroine united in shared love of a dog: No, it's horses this time, specifically an Arab mare called Shalom.
Act of vengeance by a bitter former servant: None.
Heroine requires rescue from: Being kidnapped by French horse thieves.
Duels fought: Chang and the Marquis do karate on the horse thieves.
Book ends with one of the pair recovering in bed: Elmina, after nearly being shot during the kidnapping.
What the heroine believes the hero's lips give her when they kiss at the end: As the sun rose, they were part of it and its burning glory swept through them.
Diamond-studded snuff boxes mentioned: None.
Heroine inwardly approves of the hero's champagne-coloured pantaloons: No, it's white riding breeches this time. Also: his nightshirt: "... with the frills round his silk nightshirt high against his neck almost like a cravat and the red of his robe accentuated by the darkness of his hair, he looked, she thought, almost as if he had stepped out of a picture."
Sample stilted dialogue:
"I hope you will enjoy this champagne, Falcon. It's a brand that was recommended to me years ago by King George when he was on the throne."
"He was certainly reputed to be a great connoisseur of wine," the Marquis said conversationally.
(Note that the Marquis spends a lot of his chapters thinking about how boring conversations at Queen Victoria's court are, and, I mean, if that's an example of his own conversation, he's not helping the problem.)
( This book, f-list )