My Blunt Stapler
Nov. 30th, 2010 01:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
todayiamadaisyLast night I went out for dinner, with an old friend of my mother's (and sort of relative, if 'widow of the brother of the woman married to my mother's uncle' counts as a relative). She said we (being the Daisy family) have been so good to her since her husband died, she would make us a roast dinner. So she did, and it was good.
She said, 'Oh, I had the most terrible experience last week. I came home for lunch and put a frozen chicken fillet on the bench to thaw for my dinner. Don't look at me like that, Pauline, I'm not going to die of salmonella. So I put the chicken on the bench and went back to work and when I came home again, the chicken was gone. My god, I was convinced there was someone in the house, he's eaten my chicken fillet and now he's hiding in the cupboard waiting to get me. I nearly called the police, until I saw a trail of juice on the kitchen floor. I followed it up the passage and what did I find? Next door's cat and a half-chewed chicken fillet sitting on my bed as bold as brass.'
I forgot to say yesterday that I did have some excitement over the weekend. I saw a potentially deadly red-back spider when I was putting some vegetable scraps in the compost bin. So that was a thrill. Not as much of a thrill as if I'd been bitten, because then I'd have a better and more memorable story than, oh, I saw a spider. Still, it scuttled away under the rubbish bin, so we may meet again.
She said, 'Oh, I had the most terrible experience last week. I came home for lunch and put a frozen chicken fillet on the bench to thaw for my dinner. Don't look at me like that, Pauline, I'm not going to die of salmonella. So I put the chicken on the bench and went back to work and when I came home again, the chicken was gone. My god, I was convinced there was someone in the house, he's eaten my chicken fillet and now he's hiding in the cupboard waiting to get me. I nearly called the police, until I saw a trail of juice on the kitchen floor. I followed it up the passage and what did I find? Next door's cat and a half-chewed chicken fillet sitting on my bed as bold as brass.'
I forgot to say yesterday that I did have some excitement over the weekend. I saw a potentially deadly red-back spider when I was putting some vegetable scraps in the compost bin. So that was a thrill. Not as much of a thrill as if I'd been bitten, because then I'd have a better and more memorable story than, oh, I saw a spider. Still, it scuttled away under the rubbish bin, so we may meet again.