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todayiamadaisyThat the topless towers be burnt
And men recall that face,
Move most gently if move you must
In this lonely place.
She thinks, part woman, three parts a child,
That nobody looks; her feet
Practise a tinker shuffle
Picked up on the street.
Like a long-legged fly upon the stream
Her mind moves upon silence.
- from Long-legged Fly by W.B. Yeats
So I saw the topless towers burn last night in Troy. I still haven’t seen Kill Bill Vol. 2, on account of this town’s one cinema having an extended season of The Passion of the Christ. I didn’t see that. Apparently he dies in the end.
Troy
The good
The bad
The other bits
The thing is, in the film, the story is finite. You can’t make a film and have all these loose ends. You apparently can’t make a popular blockbuster in which Brad Pitt, Eric Bana and Orlando Bloom all die, and without at least having some sort of token female presence. I can see all that. But the original stories were ongoing sagas. Some of the leads – Achilles, Hector, Paris, Ajax – die at Troy, and others go on to do more. Agamemnon has a date with destiny (and Clytemnestra). Menelaus and Helen return to Sparta and have a daughter (Hermione!). Odysseus takes twenty years to get home and has a pretty exciting tale to tell when he gets there. The film sort of hints at that by passing the baton (actually, the sword) to Aeneus, and having Odysseus mention, at the end, that people might tell his story one day, but mostly it’s organised around the stars and suggests that it all ends here.
And the women… I’m all for the sisterhood, don’t get me wrong. But just as I wouldn’t expect to see men in a film set in a medieval convent, I don’t need to see women in a battle scene set in antiquity. Especially not when the role is purely as the irritating love interest for one of the stars. It’s especially annoying when there already are two interesting female characters (Helen – a genuine love interest, who started the whole thing off – and Hector’s wife, whose name escapes me) who could have been explored.
*If John read that, he would tell me that William Tell used a cross-bow, not a recurve bow, so Legolas wouldn’t necessarily be any good at it. He would also tell me, as he did after all three Lord of the Rings films, that Legolas’ archery technique was appalling anyway.
In other news, I have a job interview. It’s next Wednesday, for part-time work in community relations at the university. When I applied, I thought I’d probably get as far as an interview, but not get the job itself, and I have to say I think that’s still the case. The job needs more experience than I’ve got. But I’ll give it a shot. Fingers crossed!
And men recall that face,
Move most gently if move you must
In this lonely place.
She thinks, part woman, three parts a child,
That nobody looks; her feet
Practise a tinker shuffle
Picked up on the street.
Like a long-legged fly upon the stream
Her mind moves upon silence.
- from Long-legged Fly by W.B. Yeats
So I saw the topless towers burn last night in Troy. I still haven’t seen Kill Bill Vol. 2, on account of this town’s one cinema having an extended season of The Passion of the Christ. I didn’t see that. Apparently he dies in the end.
Troy
The good
- Sean Bean’s curly wig.
- The Horse.
- Peter O’Toole: he could still storm Aqaba, you know.
- Lots of men in short leather skirts.
- Eric Bana: Poida plays Hector, the best man in antiquity.
- the film mentions Aeneus escaping, and through a bit of nonsense about a sword, suggests he’ll lead his people. It would have been better, though, if they’d cast someone a bit more heroic-looking (but too young to fight), or a famous cameo, to suggest to the audience that he’s about to have some serious adventures.
- I liked how they would stop and have a chat in the heat of battle, even to the enemy. Hector to Odysseus: “That’s enough for today.”
- Orlando Bloom is a pretty, pretty man.
The bad
- 3 words: Brad Pitt, dude. He looked like he was auditioning for the Point Break sequel.
- Rose Byrne. Not so much her as her character, Briseis. She hates Achilles. She loves Achilles. She goes back to Troy. She decides she loves him again. Make up your mind woman!
- The changes to the story. Paris lives. Helen escapes with the Trojans. Menelaus and Agamemnon die. No-one says “Beware of Greeks bearing gifts”.
- Way too long.
- Sean Bean’s curly wig.
The other bits
- Achilles apparently achieved immortality by stopping for a good pose every few seconds.
- Orlando Bloom’s CV has “Knows archery” at the top in big letters. I know Paris killing Achilles with an arrow is canon, so to speak, but did they have to cast Orlando Bloom to do it? There was a combined groan/laugh/cheer in the cinema when he brought the bow out. Stay tuned for his next film, The William Tell Story.*
- I liked that, according to the film, Paris had one sensible thought in his life (about The Horse: “Burn it”), and they all ignored him. Ha.
- A part reunion of the Fellowship
- Hector’s cute infant son: how do two tall, dark people have such a pudgy pink baby?
- Did I mention that Sean Bean wears a curly wig?
The thing is, in the film, the story is finite. You can’t make a film and have all these loose ends. You apparently can’t make a popular blockbuster in which Brad Pitt, Eric Bana and Orlando Bloom all die, and without at least having some sort of token female presence. I can see all that. But the original stories were ongoing sagas. Some of the leads – Achilles, Hector, Paris, Ajax – die at Troy, and others go on to do more. Agamemnon has a date with destiny (and Clytemnestra). Menelaus and Helen return to Sparta and have a daughter (Hermione!). Odysseus takes twenty years to get home and has a pretty exciting tale to tell when he gets there. The film sort of hints at that by passing the baton (actually, the sword) to Aeneus, and having Odysseus mention, at the end, that people might tell his story one day, but mostly it’s organised around the stars and suggests that it all ends here.
And the women… I’m all for the sisterhood, don’t get me wrong. But just as I wouldn’t expect to see men in a film set in a medieval convent, I don’t need to see women in a battle scene set in antiquity. Especially not when the role is purely as the irritating love interest for one of the stars. It’s especially annoying when there already are two interesting female characters (Helen – a genuine love interest, who started the whole thing off – and Hector’s wife, whose name escapes me) who could have been explored.
*If John read that, he would tell me that William Tell used a cross-bow, not a recurve bow, so Legolas wouldn’t necessarily be any good at it. He would also tell me, as he did after all three Lord of the Rings films, that Legolas’ archery technique was appalling anyway.
In other news, I have a job interview. It’s next Wednesday, for part-time work in community relations at the university. When I applied, I thought I’d probably get as far as an interview, but not get the job itself, and I have to say I think that’s still the case. The job needs more experience than I’ve got. But I’ll give it a shot. Fingers crossed!
