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I was looking at piano videos on YouTube before, and came across this comment:

when i play the beet is inside of my heart.

Which is rather touching, and also physically improbable. It makes me wish I could draw, because then I would draw someone playing the piano, all black and white except for their heart, dark red with a leafy green top.

Speaking of physically improbable, this week's How To Treat in the medical newspaper we get at work is How To Treat... Fingernail Discolouration. How bad could that be?, I thought as I turned the page. I was so innocent, f-list. Page after page of hideous, weirdly coloured fingernails. Yellow, green, red, brown, blue. Generally speaking, the yellow and green ones were caused by fungus or bacteria, the red and brown ones were cancerous and the blue ones were caused by eating too much silver.

Some people have a naturally occurring brown stripe down their fingernails, which looks very groovy. But! Under that was a photo of an almost identical brown stripe that suddenly appeared on someone's nail, and next to that was a photo of the same finger with the nail removed to reveal a melanoma. So: lifelong stripe, interesting conversation starter; suddenly appearing stripe, harbinger of death. Remember that.

Some people have a condition called Benign Racial Pigmentation, which means that the skin under their nails is a different colour to everywhere else. What a saving on nail polish.

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