An Adventure of Love
Nov. 19th, 2014 02:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
todayiamadaisyI like to put a terrible (as in good) joke in my Out of Office message when I go on leave and today I thought it would be fun if it was an accounting-related one. (Your definition of 'fun' may vary.) I had to seek some out and, dear me, there are some terrible (as in bad) accounting jokes out there. How are these two even accounting-related?
Q. Did you hear about the cannibal accountant?
A. She charges an arm and a leg.
Q: Why did the cannibal accountant get disciplined?
A. For buttering up her clients.
I was going to say that you could achieve the same result by removing 'accountant', but that wouldn't work, would it? Ordinary cannibals don't charge people or have clients. But any sort of cannibal service professional could be inserted there. Lawyers. They'd be better candidates for cannibalism than accountants.
Then there was this:
An accountant is reading nursery rhymes to her young child. When she is finished, she answers her son’s question: "No, son. When Little Bo Peep lost her sheep that wouldn't be tax deductible — but I like your thinking.”
Well. That's not just not funny, it's wrong. If those sheep are Little Bo Peep's source of income, then they would totally be tax deductible. It would be a stock write-off. Literally. Stupid joke.
In the end, I found one to use over the Christmas break:
How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh?
Net Present Value.
I had to abandon plans for accounting humour for my leave next week, though. Instead they'll be getting a bit of religious humour instead:
Q. What do you call a church service that is very, very important?
A. A critical mass.
To be honest, that's not a huge improvement.
Q. Did you hear about the cannibal accountant?
A. She charges an arm and a leg.
Q: Why did the cannibal accountant get disciplined?
A. For buttering up her clients.
I was going to say that you could achieve the same result by removing 'accountant', but that wouldn't work, would it? Ordinary cannibals don't charge people or have clients. But any sort of cannibal service professional could be inserted there. Lawyers. They'd be better candidates for cannibalism than accountants.
Then there was this:
An accountant is reading nursery rhymes to her young child. When she is finished, she answers her son’s question: "No, son. When Little Bo Peep lost her sheep that wouldn't be tax deductible — but I like your thinking.”
Well. That's not just not funny, it's wrong. If those sheep are Little Bo Peep's source of income, then they would totally be tax deductible. It would be a stock write-off. Literally. Stupid joke.
In the end, I found one to use over the Christmas break:
How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh?
Net Present Value.
I had to abandon plans for accounting humour for my leave next week, though. Instead they'll be getting a bit of religious humour instead:
Q. What do you call a church service that is very, very important?
A. A critical mass.
To be honest, that's not a huge improvement.