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Dinner with my mother and her partner John. "John's made a thing," announced my mother proudly (and bafflingly).

"What sort of thing?"

"Well," said John, "there's been some crows coming and eating the corn out of the vegie patch, so I made a Crow Scaring Machine."

"A scarecrow."

Pause. "Oh. Yes."

Heh. "But it's a machine, you said? Not just a man on a stick, then?"

"No. There's this one bit of fence where they like to perch, so I put a wooden ruler on it. So they land and under the wooden ruler is a little electronic circuit, so when they land they trigger the circuit and that triggers a rat trap - no, don't look like that, it's in a box under the fence, it's not to catch them. So they set off the rat trap, which makes a noise, and it's also connected to a circuit so that when it goes off it also sets off two party poppers into the air, you know, streamers and a big bang. And that scares the crows."

"Does it work?"

"Well, it's been set off twice, but I've not seen it. We've come home and there's been streamers in the garden."

"And I don't think we've seen the crows quite as often," added my mother. "But we really want to see it go off."

"You need another circuit with a camera on it, like a traffic camera," I suggested, more as a joke than a serious suggestion.

"That's a good idea! One of those disposable ones. I'll give it some consideration," said John.

And it occurred to me that retired people have way too much free time.

Also, by popular demand (well, one demand), the bracelet I bought at the antique fair: )
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Stopped at traffic lights in the morning peak hour (well... peak quarter of an hour here) someone honked a car horn. The note held for quite some time and I looked about to see who had cut off whom, until the woman in front of me realised she knew the car in the next lane and waved to the occupants. Car horns are not subtle communication tools; it's so hard to tell the difference between "hello" and "watch out". I suppose cars could be fitted with two horns, friendly and not friendly, but that doesn't seem practical. I propose an International Language of Car Horns: one long note for "I say, you cut me off, you dashed fool", one short one for "sorry, I didn't see you", three staccato notes for "hello", etc. What do you think?

I sat down over the weekend to do some mucking about with maps - how I love maps! I was thrilled to find that one of my units this semester had a project devoted to making several maps of South East Asia (one for language groups, one for geographic features, and so on). I started the easiest one first, carefully inking in countries and capitals, until halfway through when I thought, I don't want to do this. I think spending the first half of the year first fretting about my mother's illness and later running her about to various medical personnel, on top of work and radio and uni, has finally caught up with me. I've been looking forward to my two units this semester (South East Asian History and Screen Theories), but my heart just hasn't been in it and I've been putting off all sorts of other little things as well. So this morning I sorted out a six-month Intermission from Monash (formerly known as a Leave of Absence, as the application form helpfully notes) and at lunchtime I went to the library and borrowed a stack of mystery novels and I'm already feeling much happier.

Mentioning library books and my mother in the same entry reminds me that I picked up one of hers a while ago. It was one of those historical Brother Cadfael-style mysteries; I've forgotten its name and author, sadly, but not the back-cover blurb that promised that at the heart of the book was "the forbidden love between a priest and the ditcher's wife". Fantastic.
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My neighbours were digging in their front garden when I went out walking this morning so I stopped for a short chat. While out purchasing new plants, they had stopped off at the Logan's Beach whale nursery and they were consequently giddy with excitement. "Two whales - and dolphins too, jumping around them!"

What, dolphins as well? There's never dolphins when I go to look (which is, admittedly, not often). Happily, Logan's Beach is not far from my house, so, deeply envious, I made a detour to the lookout platform on my way home from the supermarket. Result: two whales, three surfers, a busload of cold tourists and a fisherman carrying a skate, a rod and a bucket. Definitely no dolphins. Hmph.


*****

According to today's paper, the US government has a Office of Lessons Learned, which I think is a brilliant idea. Everyone should have one! I hope Condoleezza Rice returns home from her recent travels abroad and reports this valuable lesson: even if you're one of the most important women on the planet, cow-patterned tights are never a good idea.

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